The Little Things

We plod along here in our relatively uneventful lives, and sometimes we wonder that we get things done at all with all the interruptions and unexpected tasks, delays and the like. Yesterday, I called to follow up on something relating to my daughter's diabetes supplies and that ended up taking about an hour rather than five minutes. I broke a "treasure" one of the kids had made while replacing the sheets on one of the kids' beds. I discovered that to accomplish another task I needed several questions answered and no one was around to answer them, so a half hour block of time ended up fruitless. These are just a sampling, and I know I'm not alone. This happens to all of us, sometimes every day, multiple times. And for me, I know that it takes the wind right out of my sails (which personally were anything but full to begin with).

Where do we go with that? I'm still working on that one. But I think it begins for me by taking a step back and remembering both that God has ordained my steps and that my worth and identity and success don't come from these things but from him. And this relates to this morning....

This morning, talking with her father, my oldest made it sound like I signed her up for something she didn't want to do tomorrow morning. (Fact check - I asked her if she wanted to with no expectations and she was thrilled, ecstatic, bouncing with enthusiasm...) I took offense at her tone and words w/her dad. It made me lose track of what I was doing which I needed to do (and quickly) before they all left, and again got me off on a bad foot. It's always the little things, isn't it?

Upon review, I wasn't concerned about truth so much (though that is part of it), but I was mostly concerned with what her father thought about me; that I would willy nilly sign her up for stuff w/o consulting her etc. First of all, I don't habitually behave that way; I know she needs "time off" and I want to honor her interests and energy level whenever possible. It's a tough balance, and I try awfully hard. Second, I do reserve the right to sign her up for things w/o consulting her b/c I'm her mom, and sometimes doing so is wise and good. Honestly, that's pretty rare, but I do reserve the right just the same. But most importantly, I discovered that I value her speaking accurately about me to others, especially to someone who's opinion of me matters - like her father. Ouch. Do I trust god to take care of me? Do I trust her father to come to me if he has questions? To think the best of me, and/or realize that the source is one who is bound to be tainted and often "against" me for her own sinful even if not deliberate reasons at this age? Do I believe that I can kindly approach her and tell her how what she said hurt me?

It's the little things - and there are tons of them - that "get" me. I really failed this morning. And I learned a lot about myself too. Sigh. So frankly, I'm again not getting much done this morning. I lack traction, wind in my sails, you name it. But it's going to be ok. I will learn - if it takes me forever - to manage these "little things" better, because it's important to do so. I don't mean controlling the things I can't; I mean learning to depend on God for the things I need. The more I can trust him with my heart and my well-being, the less these little things can "do" to me.