I also like to give my kids chance to experience new things. This does extend, perhaps unfortunately, to the kind that cost more than we generally can afford, like concerts and plays and other artistic types of stuff. I do a fair job of figuring out ways to enjoy these things for free or minimal cost on occasion, but there's also only so much time and energy.
Yesterday, a rare opportunity came up that I was very very excited about. The local youth orchestra (with a very fine reputation) was putting on their midwinter concert. And our neighbors, whose son plays trombone in the orchestra, offered us two free tickets at the last minute. What a gift. I really wanted to go.
I was concerned with two tickets what to do. Papa Bear I knew would forgo the opportunity willingly and so it was a question of which child. I didn't know how I would handle them all wanting to go, so I thought it through and determined to ask them in a particular order. I was more than surprised when basically no one wanted to go with me. And I was at a loss, because it seemed to me that one of them not going was not an option. So Papa Bear and I discussed it and had several conversations with each of the kids, all in short order of course given the time. I'll share the conclusion of it all momentarily but I must first digress.
You see, my feelings were hurt, and I also thought I knew the kids would enjoy this tremendously and I wanted them to go along, all of them, but that just wasn't possible, nor do I expect this kind of opportunity to come along often. And there was tension and time pressure to boot. So I threw a hissy fit. It could have been louder and out of control and all that, which it wasn't, but nor was it pretty. I coerced, yelled a bit, judged, cajoled, laid guilt trips and so much more. It was not "acceptable" to not want to go. What kind of children wouldn't want to jump on this opportunity? To my pre-teen, "this isn't something you outgrow like wanting to be a fireman - this is grown-up stuff not kid stuff." They might never be able to do such a thing again. They don't know what they're missing. "Nobody wants to go with me!" I actually said that several times.
Now I don't want to minimize the genuine hurt - it is not sinful to be hurt, nor to want to give your kids opportunities, nor to require them to come along, nor to be very certain that they may not even know how much they will enjoy it because they are still young. But what I did was pretty ugly. I have had some clean up work to do. Some repenting, some requesting forgiveness, definitely some confession, as well as some figuring out what to do with the emotions themselves without making things worse. I had the power to really destroy the afternoon and almost did.
By the end of it all, two of the kids were honestly on the fence, and were simply struggling with a desire to relax at home. I really wanted Andante to come with me as he'd never seen anything like this and I was pretty sure he'd love it. And indeed, that is who came along, and he did indeed love it - all two and a half hours of it. He was all but on the edge of his seat for the majority of the performance, and we had a marvelous time together. We talked instruments, music, how to behave, getting a snack during intermission, who he knew who was in the audience, who he knew who was playing, and so much more. He absolutely loved it, as did I, and we enjoyed discussing it before and during and after and it could not have gone better. I am so thankful that the experience was so rich. It was a truly lovely concert, and while longer than expected, the time passed pretty quickly. I am so thankful for the special time we had together and for the gift from our neighbors.
But mostly I am thankful that my temper tantrum didn't ruin it for us all. God is good and I love how he works through these situations to show me my need for a savior because of my sin, and I love how he extends grace to me though I don't deserve it. We enjoyed the music because he has given us a love for how we can hear and see him through it all. After all, my kids have been given "musical" names here (the boys anyway) and part of our discussion was how their very personalities - so different - and our emotions and so much more can be expressed in music. Andante's name truly fits him, as does Vivace's. The girls are kind of inbetween them . ... . so we went with character traits, but I like Pianoforte for my petite child with the strong personality, and I like Allegro for my even-keeled eldest. And I enjoy how our God can be worshiped, described, and loved through music, and how each orchestral instrument gives such different sound, yet together - like the body - can work for such richness. All a reflection of Him, and all thoroughly on display for my dear son yesterday. He knows it, and he and I completely enjoyed that knowledge together. And I had such a special time with my dear boy. So very very thankful today for that.
BTW Here is a picture of Andante playing the cello at his own concert a few days earlier. It was his first time and he did extremely well, especially dealing with the jitters, which he had in full measure.
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