Character lessons

Baseball can be challenging. There are weather elements to contend with (cold, heat, rain, sun, mud, drizzle, thundershowers, dampness, dark, mosquitos, wasps ....). There are emotional elements to work through (frustration, discouragement, elation, let-downs, adrenalin rushes, anger, thrill, excitement, surprise, and so on). Sometimes there are rule-related issues, bad calls, wild pitches, injuries, mistakes, and more, each of which has its consequences. So, tonight, Patience got to work through strike-outs that ought not to have been, mistakes, excitement, high blood sugars, delight in scoring a run, and more. The game was close and went a full six innings through drizzle and impending night (three hours long!). It was neck and neck with a couple big swings due to pitching (lots of walks) and big plays (a grand slam - we got that but we due to the "5-run rule" only one of the runs counted in that particular case). We lost in the bottom of the sixth with two outs - we just couldn't get the 3rd before they walked in a run to break the tie. It was hard but well-fought and a good finish to a great season. We're proud of her and of her team's performance right to the very end. They grew as and worked well as a team and this was an experience she will look back on fondly, along with all its challenges and many lessons learned, in years to come.

The continuing saga . . .

... we get to watch one more baseball game. Patience's team fought hard but lost in the bottom of the last inning on Saturday. Though not a bad game, they have played better than they did that day, so hopefully Tuesday night they'll show their best performance yet. Stay tuned!

Baseball update

Patience and Andante played each other in the first of their LL baseball playoff games last Saturday. Dante's team was favored but Patience's team won. It was a very close game - fun to watch and well played by both teams. Tuesday, each of their team's squared off against another of the four teams at their level. Dante's team seemed tired and as though they had no more heart left to play, and they lost. Unfortunately, that means they were also the first of the four teams to be eliminated, so his baseball season is officially over. Patience's team on the other hand was fired up and full of life, and they won handily, earning themselves a "bye" night tonight while the other two teams played each other in the semi-finals game.

Her team did get together to practice (to stay "in the mindset" if you will) this evening for an hour or so. Having nothing "better" to do, Dante helped them out at their practice while the little ones and I hung out to play and we all got to watch at least some of the other game. We don't know yet who she's playing on Saturday, but it was a close game, neck and neck the whole way (no score until the top of the 4th inning, and then 1-1 at the bottom of the 4th and into "extra" innings...). It was a lovely evening at the park and while we're all tired, we're also relaxed and enjoying summer - it was even sunny and the cool spell seems to be breaking. We'll be looking at some summer weather the next two days at long last. Bring it on! We're ready for some time the pool and some lemonade!

Summer!

School is officially out for the year. Patience began over at the middle school figuring out her new teachers etc for next fall. The rest of us walked to school together. Vivace and I stayed and watched Andante's 3rd grade talent show (which Constance also attended with her class) and then hung out on the playground for a short time. We then went to Patience's final school assembly and cheered her and the other 5th graders out the door's of their school . . . . On to middle school!

Afterwards a whole group of us went out for creemees and now we're relaxing at home, again with a few friends. Hello vacation!

Garden & Yard Stuff

Hopefully we'll get some pictures of our community vegetable garden up soon (every year it looks different!) but in the mean time, we've tried three "new" things this year here at home (besides grass seed and topsoil!).

1) Problem: Squirrels dig up my flowers almost as soon as we plant them.
Solution: Shotgun Repels-All
It's organic, non-toxic, and smells awful. It's basically garlic and other odoriferous things that apparently irritate the nostrils of said creatures when they try to eat or dig into your plants or soil. We're testing it - so far mixed results but application - or adequate lack thereof due to distractions - may be the problem. Newest application at 6:20 this am.

2) Problem: Grubs, which results in yard/lawn issues
Solution: Beneficial nematodes (yup - parasites! they're worms)
Again, organic, non-toxic, and ultimately relatively inexpensive and easy to apply. We'll keep you posted (next year!)

3) Problem: Algae growth on deck and swingset in particular - makes them slippery when wet
Solution: Wet & Forget
In the past, this is a yearly chore - and it's a chore. We've tried a lot of things but bleach works best and it has involved a TON of scrubbing, and sometimes doesn't seem like all that effort is particularly worth it (it works but it's very hard work and you wonder about all the bleach you're using, what it does to you and you wish it was easier b/c frankly you need to do it more than once a year but that's just more than you can handle!). There are more expensive options that work, in some cases slightly better than bleach with a little less elbow grease, but they are prohibitively expensive and not that much less work. I read about this Wet & Forget product, checked it out online and it's available in a two-pack for a decent price at Costco. I figured why not try it? So I bought a $9.99 pump sprayer this morning after dropping the kids at school (their last full day!) and in about an hour had learned to use the sprayer and done the entire job. Frankly in just over an hour and a half, I cleaned and swept the deck (prep work), moved a couple things out of the way, got Vivace a snack, answered a phone call from Patience, did the job, and completely cleaned up including a shower and fresh clothes for me! Not bad. My kind of project. Now we'll have to "wait" and "forget" and see what kind of a job it does. If it works at all, it was easy, not particularly expensive (I still have a bottle and a half left), and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. They say it works on siding and roofs too which would be nice so we'll try that next.

How about anyone out there who reads this? Do you have similar problems? What solutions have you tried? How have they worked? Stay tuned....

One and a half more days

That's how long it is until school is out for the summer.

I can't wait.

And I find it hard to understand why so many don't feel that way.

The kids really need down time. They need time to just be at home with nothing to do, no plans, nowhere to go, no one to see, etc. "Boredom" is a necessary part of a kid's life! (And then they learn to find things to do).

Granted, we'll have plenty to do. But I won't be entertaining them.

I'm also eager for the summer because it's a break for me. When they're not running around with school-imposed deadlines, activities, projects and the like, neither am I! When they go to the pool, so do I! When they go to the park, so do I! When we go on forays to the waterfront or for ice cream, or bike rides, I too get to enjoy them, or enjoy being home alone. It's fun. I get tired of all the running around and I too need some down time.

Summer is when the schedule is OURS versus someone else's.
Summer is when WE set the goals and work for them.
Summer is when we can evaluate our needs and actually try to meet them without having to work around someone else's plans to the same degree.

So what are you looking forward to this summer?

Me, I'm going to teach them French, how to fold laundry, how to cook, and how to put stuff away. Sounds like a lot, I know, but I hope to make it fun. I'm also planning to play games with them - lots of games. Board games, card games, Wii games, and the like. And bike ride, and pick berries, and make jam, and sell lots of lemonade together. I want to make time to read - to them and with them and by myself. And of course, we'll do some trips but no major ones. I'm really just looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the kids. Lots of that. Gotta recharge before . . . . but that's getting ahead of myself. It's not even vacation yet. I'm not going to think about what's next before we even get there.

Just one and a half more days.... :-) And they'll fly by 'cause there's plenty to do to get ready!

Clutter

So, I've posted a lot lately about "clutter" and "dejunking". We have reached a point where we are starting to actually do something about it. Reading Don Aslett's books, as well as other books, has really helped me.

A few notes:

1. Papa Bear has recognized this problem for years (and years and years)
2. I am a keeper. I could write a 200+ dissertation on this one and why it is so.
   
3. Please note, I've recognized the problem for a long time too but have been very overwhelmed and completely at a loss as to how to go about dealing with it.
4. I have gotten derailed often. Patience's diagnosis w/diabetes two years ago was not the least of the more recent derailments. Frankly it takes time. There are treasures - known ones, not imaginary - buried in the boxes and such I need to go through.
   
5. I have been reluctant to trust Papa Bear to help me. He has promised not to toss things w/o consulting me first, but I still feel judged about the littlest things - even disapproved of. That is slowly changing as I learn to trust him. It is still a challenge but one which we are honestly working on, with actions, not just in words.
6. I have reached a point in the past few months where, thanks to much reading and God working in my heart, I have been able to begin to deal with some of the root issues. The problem isn't so much clutter as it is the reasons for that clutter and dealing with those will help not only reduce clutter, but keep it off.
   

Here is one idea/process that has worked for us with our kids and which with some help will be of use with/for me as we begin to tackle some of my worst areas. It's especially good for books and toy cars, or so we've found.

• Spread them all out on the living room floor
• Sort them (there are no rights and wrongs - just ideas, and it breaks it up) . For example, large cars, "cars movie" cars, cars with faces, emergency vehicles, farm vehicles, etc. Have each of the kids who care pick out their 10 favorites and put them back in the drawer.
  
• Meanwhile, I sort out ones I think should be gotten rid of and put them in a toss pile. This might include broken ones, noisy ones which annoy me or which are always in the way (the ones I don't like for some reason), the obvious stuff. This is my opportunity to have a say and starts the process of disposal. If it's books, it's the ones I think don't have much "merit" (poor content, or not much content, ones which I don't think anyone reads and there's no real reason to, ones that are falling apart and are not beloved....)
  
• The kids then examine each grouping and find 5-10 total (2 each, that sort of idea) which they can live without and put them in the toss pile.
  
• Then they pick another 5 each to keep and so on until we have a decent toss pile (minimum a grocery bag full given our collection).
• If they need more "encouragement" to toss, I make them line up the cars in lines of approximately 20 (completely arbitrary) and they HAVE to find 3 from each line to get rid of. It helps them choose not just ones they don't like, but ones which they won't miss.
  
• We do make sure we save "at least one fire truck" etc - or put it on a wish list (Mom, all our fire trucks are broken - can we get another?) that sort of thing.
  
• To finish, they each get to "rescue" 1-2 from the toss pile. I am flexible here to a degree esp if they are willing to get rid of a lot. It prevents arguing etc. and allows them to say what someone else picked as a "toss" is really one of their "treasures".
  
• We do this about 2-3 times a year. We have found it keeps the cars down, allows us to continue obtaining more w/o fear of overflow, and gives them room for favorites and the like. We all get a say.

With books, it's a less thorough process (that is we don't go through every book we own, but just what's currently on the shelves). We do that probably about 2-3 times per year. Then once or twice a year we also "rotate" books with the ones stored away. It refreshes the collection. We will usually take this opportunity to "sort" the ones we've removed from the shelves, before we put those in boxes.

We did go through every single child's book in the house last fall (we had a lot of duplicates!). That took a while but was well worth it as we were able to cull out four boxes of books. It would probably be good to do that roughly every two years as the kids outgrow many of the "younger" books. Also, the more often we do it, the easier it in fact is!

Fun as a Family

We have lots of fun, even when we're busy!



We loved Andante and Patience's piano recital - we even had a few friends come to watch!


Dressing up is always fun . . . .


And who doesn't enjoy a ferry ride on a long road trip?! (It was windy but beautiful!)


We love the carousel at the Shelburne Museum



We always enjoy stories!


Don't they look like they're having fun?! Go Giants, I mean Cubs, I mean... Oh well! Go kids!

Go tigger - and the rest of you!


Yumm! Time to bake some brownies!

[Watching the band, esp. the "trash" section, perform]: What is she playing, mom? (A washboard) And him? (A stop sign). And what did you play again? (The duck and the kazoo)




Sitting where George Washington sat - are we drafting new legislation?



The whole crew - Happy 20th reunion Mom! We love coming here!

Impossibilities and the like

It's impossible to schedule things at this time of year; every time you do, something else moves to the same time, especially if there is baseball or rain involved. Tonight we were to have two (different) baseball games, we had one very tired 4-yr old, rain, and a school show the middle two were just dying to attend. Our plan had been to do the whole family at the park for baseball as usual. Based on the fatigue and the rain, we flexed multiple times and did strange contortions and got the two to baseball (where they watched it rain for an hour and a half plus until the games were canceled), the one stayed home w/papa bear, and the other got farmed out to the show thanks to another family - and then after the game was declared "not happening" we farmed out another and I came home to get the tired one to bed "on time." We also saw a rainbow, and our free night tomorrow night is now full of baseball... it never fails.

Gardens don't like dry weather, 90 degree days back to back when you're dry and a tiny little seedling, clay soil which pools when it rains (and pours), hurricane force winds (with or without rain), and cucumber beetles. The 90s killed my home-grown cucumber seedlings. The wind blew off my row covers the day before we left town so I had to redo them - more flexibility required - I was supposed to be packing, or so I thought. The cucumber beetles are taking care of the replacement cukes, and also attacking the cantaloupe, watermelon, and squashes. So I sprayed them (and the lawn at home) with parasites last night (beneficial nematodes to be precise). Wonder what will happen next? :-) Hopefully they'll kill the nasty creatures and let my plants alone and allow our lawn and garden to grow. But I'm sure something else will come up. Go nematodes!

Margin - leaving it - is a concept I struggle with, but this kind of nutty "scheduling" requires it, and somehow God is giving us room to manoeuvre. We did make it out of town, on time, even after two unplanned hours working in the garden, and we do (technically did) have tomorrow evening free so we can do the baseball make-up game from tonight, and everyone did get to go to the show who wanted to, without sacrificing the team and that sort of thing. My feet were soaked, but we were all cheerful (the rainbow helped). And there are only four more school days until summer vacation. It always seems impossible but yet here we are, another year down (more or less) and we're actually enjoying the baseball life. Oh yes, and the garden is finally in as of 3;15pm yesterday (it took weeks!). We celebrated with creemees - see, we even found time for that! Lord you are good to us!

So tomorrow I'm off to catch frogs (don't ask), probably finally box up the winter stuff, and we'll enjoy baseball in the sun vs. the rain.

Help! Around the House 9 (part three)

PG (Parental Guidance) Dejunking

"Here are a few pointers just to get you going. When it comes to the actual pruning or thinning, just remember that regardless of a person's age, there is some honor of ownership, and as soon as children are old enough to speak, they should have something to say as to exactly what has to go. Forty years later, there are kids who still haven't forgiven their parents for those "toss time" invasions on their stuff, after finding their old doll or train set in the garbage. What might look like clutter to you might be very precious to your child. For the sake of future relationships (and a great chance to teach the concept of decluttering to our kids), dejunking should be a team effort, with you coaching and your kids calling the shots. A few sneaky confiscation raids might have merit, but if you choose what they lose, they also lose the experience of dealing with their own problems. If not now, when and where do they learn?"

Help! Around the House 9 (part two)

"You are the one who gave your kids most of this stuff, or encouraged them to collect it. You are also the parent, so you have the legal and moral right to reduce it too! Most of us would agree on the following:

1. Kids actually need very little to be happy.
2. Big clutterfests aren't necessary for every event in their lives. (For instance, they don't need a major birthday party every year.)
3. The less there is to scatter, the less gets scattered. How many kids have you met, in this thing-loaded society of ours, who have been ruined for life by not having enough luxuries like fancy toys and video games? We all know scores who are spoiled and ungrateful because they have too much.
4. Kids are better than us at keeping memories without a whole shelf of mementos.

Another interesting twist here is that in the process of helping the kids declutter, we adults get a new view of and are more likely to do something about our own clutter, so everyone wins in this situation."

Help! Around the House 9 (part one)

Re: Clutter

"The Children Are an Easy Cure; You're Not

We, the adults are the root of the problem here. Until children are about nine or ten years old, they don't really have much control over the amount of clutter they have. Just about everything they have comes from us.... We determine what and how much there is and where it stays!

In my dejunking seminar presentations, as I'm heaping on the guilt about all of the junk in the average home, I make the statement, 'and your children have 75 percent more toys than they need.' That always gets an instant affirmative head nodding from the crowd.... until I say, 'Yes, folks, and you know why? You gave them all that!'

In the spirit of 'Be good and I will bring you home/buy you some junk,' millions of parents each day heap on little Brandon and Brittany some of the most worthless stuff imaginable.... We give kids things to compensate, regulate, and sedate them.... Even a fast-food trip has now become a fast way to getting more junk!

The kids are at a real disadvantage when it comes to dejunking their rooms. The only example they have is ours. They've watched us getting stuff and stacking it on the shelf and under the bed, and when the drawers and containers (and garage and storage shed) are full, they've gone with us to get more drawers and containers! We've even reprimanded them for using perfectly good junk storage boxes to make pirate ships and hideouts!"

(stay tuned for part two)

Help! Around the House 8

"We warn out children about matches, the pool or nearby river, germs, strangers, crossing the street, drugs, pornography, but never about the harm, the danger, of the stuff that teaches us greed, warps our personality, insulates our sensitivities, and steals our time and money."

Help! Around the House 7

"Remember the Multiplication Factor

The bad news is that it might not be easy to get the rest of the household swung over to sweeping up after themselves or other housework. However, when you do get even just one little habit ingrained, it is never for just one time. Take sock turning, for example. If you can get everyone to turn their socks right side out before dropping them in the hamper, extended out to the rest of a child's or husband's life, that means 10,000 times you don't have to do it - a nice yield for a single effort up front. Once the old 'Scrape your dish and take it to the sink' habit is in place, it isn't just in place for that meal, on that day - instead, it is good for 1,000 meals a year, and forty, fifty, or 60,000 in a lifetime."

Where there's smoke...

... there's fire. We came home late Sunday (ok, early Monday) from a great trip to NJ for my 20th reunion. When we woke up, we smelled smoke. Papa Bear figured it was a neighbor doing something (we have Bosnians on one side of us who actually have a smokehouse in their backyard and who we have known to cook an entire goat on a spit too - wonderful smells but definitely not in our normative experience).

Well, it persisted and at one point (probably to water plants) I stuck my head out the door and saw the haze and noted the pervasiveness of the smell. It was definitely NOT the neighbors and seemed to be from some big fire somewhere. I immediately purposed to find out the source since it was likely 'big news'. Though it took me a bit (lots of distractions when it's 10am and no one has eaten breakfast yet), it turns out that there are 50+ wildfires burning in Quebec, many not under control as yet, and the winds have brought us the smoke. It all started b/c of the wild lightning storms on the 25th. It was a narrow band of pretty strong stuff; I remember the radar and the rain here. The storm was pretty bad in the next town over - lightning struck a tree outside Colchester Rescue directly and the impact sent a guy INDOORS flying and to the hospital w/bumps and bruises. He's ok but wow! Nevermind the blown and burning transformers etc too. While we got rained on heavily with wild winds, and I had to redo my gardens rowcovers almost completely the next day, we were spared the worst of it.

It's now raining and we're hoping the smoke has gone between the rains and the winds shifting again, but it was a very interesting day. I think the smoke and its effect on our air quality affected us as much as our lack of sleep from traveling. Hopefully this soaking rain we're getting won't be accompanied by lightning and it helps the firefighters get everything under control.


This picture was taken on Monday 5/31/10 from the top of Mount Mansfield looking toward Camels Hump by Tim Wilmot and appeared in Tuesday's newspaper. It shows smoke from the forest fires in Quebec; we live deep down in that smoke filled valley.