My student teaching is over, I graduated from the TAP program in good standing, my portfolio is done and approved, I have my teaching license in hand, I have worked full-time all year (unpaid in the fall, paid in the spring), I've prepped resumes, applied for teaching positions, had interviews, and been told others have been selected. My position in the computer lab has been cut so I have no job to go back to in the fall. I'm done with this year. Completed successfully. The End.
I loved this year. I loved classroom teaching. I loved learning how to do it "properly" and much better than before. I loved the training I received and the people I met along the way. I loved the school I worked and taught at. I loved the students. I loved my co-workers. Lest you think I wear rose-colored glasses, there were challenging times, difficult students, heart-breaking concerns to address, and personal and professional issues to resolve. But there is little I would change; I learned much and grew a lot and will miss it all.
A student came into the lab yesterday while I was wrapping up some grading for one of the French teachers. She was done w/her exams and I congratulated her on finishing the year and asked her how it felt to be a junior. She expressed what we all often feel - growing up is hard and she didn't want this year to end. We had a great conversation. We spoke of hope, and of positive growth, and of not really wanting things to be the same - but of fear and trepidation at what is new and unknown. She may "never want to leave high school," but nor would she really want to stay. You outgrow it - you change - and this can be for good. We talked about innocence and wisdom. We talked about progress and stagnation. We agreed that change is not in and of itself good or bad. And we also agreed it is often difficult. I shared several quotes (I've been collecting them). One relates to baseball. All progress is risk; you can't steal second if you keep a foot on first. (Corollary: If you stay on first, it's an automatic out when the next man up gets a base hit - a no win situation!) There are many life lessons in baseball. But I digress.
It's been a good year, but it has come to an end. It's time to regroup, to enjoy the summer, and to get some much needed work done around the house. There are boxes to be gone through, parents to help settle in, taxes to be completed, people to spend time with, much baseball to be played, children to help with assignments and jobs, and business tasks to accomplish. I'm unemployed - but I have plenty to do. And I'm far from lonely; I'm surrounded by a very beloved group of people, most notably my kids and husband. Not sure if this summer is me hanging out on the base and getting ready for the steal, or if it's me stepping off the base and taking the risk. We'll see; either way, the year is now complete, and it's been great. God has taken care of all our needs and I am going to choose to trust him with this next step. Meanwhile, it's time to go do the laundry. I will leave you with this thought from TS Eliot:
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
