Icy cold weather

It's mid February, and the weather is cold.  It's been cold for a while.  Our family weathers it pretty well, but this is the coldest our youngest two have known.  Back in January, right after Christmas vacation, they went back to school in below zero temps with wind.  It was rough but they did great.  And yes, we do walk to school when it's cold.  We bundle up and I have puffballs walking out the door.  But they're warm.  They cover faces, hands, legs, wear long-johns, balaclavas, hats, hoods, double mittens, extra layers, snowpants, windpants, neckwarmers, whatever combination they like of the above, plus handwarmers if they so desire.  And honestly, unless the wind is howling, they're warmer than if we would drive, and probably it doesn't take them much longer either.

My husband is wonderful - he has taught them resilience through his insistence that we NOT drive on these mornings because it's not good for the car!  And he would be right, although I admit to some incredulity still, and a weird feeling that we treat the car better than the kids . . . . . Yet I have seen what weeks of indoor recess can do to my kids, whether due to wind chill, actual cold temps, or ice-covered playgrounds, and I am thankful for the fact that they still get some fresh air and time outside every day due to walking, at least to school, if not home as well.

The cold takes a toll and we were tired.  I think we were sick a lot too (germs love all the indoor time - again, we miss being able to play outside a lot!) and we have been thankful for some snow (the inches of thick ice of late December/early January all melted by mid-January, yay!) and the few days we have been able to get out (much more lately).  I unfortunately have had cold-induced asthma issues as I've never had before (weakened lungs from a very bad cold I caught just before Christmas which took me weeks to recover from) and have not tolerated it as well, but by late January, covering my mouth when I went outside and taking it easy seem to be working and the tightness is no longer overwhelming (and the meds not needed - yay).  I love that we all have the "can do" spirit, and knowing that the cold won't kill you is critical around here.  Today was a 10 below morning again.  And it was the first time that Papa Bear walked Patience to her 6:30am viola lesson.... because it was too cold to start the car and we didn't want her walking alone in the mostly dark so early in the day.  Yay Papa Bear!  (and the viola does survive - we use handwarmers to help maintain the temperature, and more importantly, the humidity, in the case!). [We did reschedule her lesson another week when it was about 18 below... that was too much for the viola - we draw the line around -10].

Inside the house is kind of fun too.  In our den, we have some pretty poor insulation in the walls, plus the only heat in this room is the space heater.  The temp in this room is always cool and often drafty, esp. if you have the drapes open.  The heater does a great job, and keeps the room at about 65-68 degrees with the help of the ambient heat from the rest of the house through the doorway (and we have our main thermometer in this room  - so we know the temp and aren't guessing at that 65 degrees!).  But we realized early in January that we really REALLY like our drapes.  We have (from the folks who put on this addition) custom-made honeycomb shades on the windows, which do a great job - when closed.  We have known that for some time.  But the thermal drapes on the sliding glass door (north side of the house, never sees sun except May-July and only for a short time then...) do a great job at keeping the cold out (and protect us from the drafts!)  We don't open them in the winter, but I did for some reason some weeks ago, when it was below zero, and I took pictures of the ice build up which is all over the doors, especially on the edges, and the panes are (naturally) frosted over.  I have noted since that it is ALWAYS like that, whenever we get below zero, like today.  And we even get frost on the wood panelling itself, behind the TV.  So it's fun.  Every house has its quirks, and this is one of ours.  We don't end up with any moisture issues because of the low humidity that you get in northern homes in the winter due to the cold, so when the ice melts, it evaporates quickly (or refreezes!).  I think there's plenty of transpiration too.  Hope you enjoy the pictures of our indoor weather phenomena, including the "puffy" drapes which show you that there is indeed a draft, and how well they contain it!

Character growth

Earlier this school year, I posted on our introduction to High School.  All is going well, and indeed, issues have and likely will continue to arise.  Learning how to navigate these issues, when and how to bring them up and to whom, which ones merit attention, which ones aren't worth losing any sleep over, etc is definitely the crux of what this year seems to be about.

To put it simply, communication is hard, and so is figuring out how to work with different people and different teaching styles.  Sometimes the fit is fabulous, even surprisingly so.  But when it isn't, sometimes you actually learn more, but this is often about life issues as opposed to academic material.

Patience has health challenges (diabetes and migraines in particular) and her relationship with the school health office (aka the nurse to whom she's been assigned) is a pretty important one.  Suffice it to say she didn't get off on a very good foot w/said nurse, mostly just a personality difference and some less than ideal interactions at the beginning of the school year.  So it would appear that one of our goals for the year is to mend this and move forward.  We recently met with her guidance counselor, mostly to make her aware that Patience is literally avoiding the health office and that is important that she not do so, and we will hopefully be meeting with the four of us (guidance counselor, nurse, Patience and I) soon to begin the mending.  What encourages me through this is that in real life, there are people with whom you will have to interact, and with whom doing so may be challenging.  You need to learn how.  Patience is learning the importance of this, and also we are not dealing with an unpleasant person (the nurse is quite nice actually).  But we need to work this through; she needs to learn to speak, listen, advocate, assert, understand, and forbear.  Serious people skills!  And tough communication really as well.  It's a fabulous learning experience, and while I wouldn't have wished it (especially with this particular situation - her need for the services provided by the nurses can be very real and urgent), it will be a wonderful opportunity to build character, communication skills, and learn about other people.  And working with the guidance counselor has been a very encouraging and upbuilding experience. 

Another issue is in some ways bigger (relating to privacy and the use of technology in the classroom, in one class in particular) and she has done a marvelous job advocating for herself.  After discussing this with the guidance counselor (again, we really feel heard and the counselor was marvelous at helping us define and communicate the issue at hand), I now know who to speak to.  Patience has been reassured that this is a legitimate concern and that she is free to stand up for herself, respectfully, but to do so firmly and without needing to cave in.  We have both learned the phrase, "I'm not comfortable with that," and are learning to use it.  It was very freeing to know the issue was not being overblown by us, at least not in the guidance counselor's opinion, and that it should be brought to the attention of the administration.    That doesn't mean we are 'right' and others are 'wrong', but that we are free to proverbially stick to our guns and insist on accommodation when need be.  Frankly, Patience has been very uncomfortable under the pressure she has felt repeatedly from a particular teacher, and it is not only our family rules reflected here, but the principles of internet safety and appropriate use of the internet (time spent etc) that she has absorbed and made her own to some degree.  Through it all, we have expected her to be appropriately flexible and willing to cooperate with the teacher as much as possible.   We have had to correct her for being a bit "self-righteous" at times and let things go.  But we have stood behind her, supporting her, and helping her to know how to advocate for herself, stepping in on (rare) occasions to speak with the teacher directly.  It's been a very unexpected issue, and we are thankful for the opportunity again, to work through real issues with our kids.  All of them have been listening in on this one, as it will likely affect them all at some point.  And they're learning a lot!

On thin ice

Last weekend, we went for a walk on the lake.  Yes, on.  Not by, near, or at.  ON.  We went down to the waterfront and walked out to the breakwater across at least six inches of very solid ice.  Interestingly, it was also very clear.  Absolutely clear.  You could see right through it.  Of course, once it got deep enough, it just looked black.  It was very eerie.  And very safe.  And unnerving.  And fun.  The kids even played "kick the block of ice" and found drift wood with which they made improvised hockey sticks (with which to better hit the blocks of ice).  The ice sailed really really far, it was so smooth out there.  Papa Bear's brother was visiting, so we took him along too.  And at least two of us were sick (the littlest ones, plus me not feeling great).  We then did lunch and went to another place - a local bay, off the main lake - where there was ice fishing and the cars were driving out onto the ice.  This ice was more "normal" - not clear.  It looked more like the ice I'm used to and was therefore less unnerving, but also less interesting.  We had fun.  See lots of pictures below.

So why did I entitle this "on thin ice" if the ice is so safe?  Perhaps because our lives are a reflection of the ice.  Sometimes they are clear, sometimes they are more typically confusing and opaque, and it is always really important to know how thick the ice is - and what you're getting into - how your decisions will impact you and others around you, that is your life circumstances.  You look for clues - like we did with the ice.  In the clear ice, the cracks were actually our reassurance that the ice was indeed quite thick.  You could literally see the depth of the cracks!  And honestly, the cars driving by us on the icy surface of the bay were a pretty big clue that the ice there was solid and we had little to worry about.  And we know to stay away from docks, etc, where the ice is thinner, or perhaps not even frozen.  Life is like this.  There are clues, signs, and others to guide and show were the "ice" of life is thick and safe, and where it is thin or perhaps even non-existent.   May we be humble and willing to pay attention to all these clues, signs, and people who God puts in our path to help us along, and may we safely avoid thin ice, at least as much as we can. 

Goodbye Fall, Hello Winter

So today I believe is the first full day of winter - or maybe it was yesterday.  I'm never sure, but the nights are long, the days are short, and we do a lot of celebrating between Christmas, vacation, and the birthday of our eldest (who can't decide if she's a fall or winter baby).  In any case, we're celebrating this year with an ice storm, and me being sick.  At least I made it through the last couple weeks!  Now I can (theoretically) crash.  Not on the ice, but on the couch. 

My beloved just took them all for "an ice storm walk" - basically to see what it's like out there.  The inconvenience of an ice storm coming on the weekend before Christmas cannot be overstated.  Nor can the timing of being sick just now, although again, theoretically, it could have been worse to be sick the past few weeks.  But church actually got moved to tonight (wow, that's a first), and my folks are up visiting and getting back and forth to the hotel is no fun, getting up to Stowe is ... ummm... not going to happen at least not today (hopefully tomorrow AM) and I've got no voice and no energy to pack or grocery shop or bake or gift wrap.  And, well, it will all get done still, of course.  Yay.  Good thing we'll only go up for 24 hours, and maybe I'll feel better by the time we have to scurry to be ready for Santa.

It is beautiful out.  And the last few weeks have been very nice; lots of family time, special music, fun activities at school, and we've accomplished a lot.  Patience's performance at the Flynn last week was lovely.  Her diabetes was not, but we're figuring all that out - as we always do, as we go.  Her other grandparents were here for her multiple performances and she's certainly come a long way.  Constance can play Christmas carols on the piano (a few) and while Vivace's energy is a challenge, he is so capable of keeping up with the rest of us, it's a fun time. 

In any case, we're still here, the fall was busy (a blur) but some great stuff happened which I'll try to post about over this break if/as I can.  And while the ice is too bad, we do like the snow and are happy to see all the brown covered up.  Should be a nice winter overall.  Our kids now range in age from 15 to 8, and we love geography as much as ever (Geo Bee news and details to come in another posting!) We've settled into the school year quite solidly and are making headway on the home front w/all our stuff.  We're currently living w/o two working appliances (dryer and dishwasher) but we have a new (to us) dryer here and ready to hook up when we're ready to do it, and the dishwasher part is almost ready to put back in (all fixed!) and then it will run again, we think possibly like new for some time to come, depending on how long the glue holds.  Then we'll do it again.  :-) In the mean time, the kids are washing dishes better and better, and the drying racks are doing their job w/ the wash just fine. 

Happy winter to you all!

Up on the chimney (actually just the shed...)

It's kind of fun when your husband tackles a home repair type job that is a "real" project, but which is "manageable" and which he can complete - from start to finish - in a measureable amount of time, and which you can see the results of very clearly.  Back in September, he repaired and reshingled the roof of our shed.  He did a great job.  It looks nice, and is done, including the clean up.  It took him a couple days from start to finish (from planning, shopping, priming, removing old shingles and rotten wood, applying new wood and shingles, to cleaning up and putting on finishing touches), but was mostly done in one single day.  I am proud of him and here are photos of the work.  Go Papa Bear!

Leaf-eating Haiku

Today I was in Vivace's classroom for our monthly Four Winds lesson (the first of this year).  This is a hands-on nature science program for elementary aged students which we parents teach.  We have monthly trainings which are fabulous; I learn so much!  Today our topic was "Leaf-eaters" and the kids enjoyed it.  That said, the activities went very quickly, and we had plenty of time for our final activity, which was to teach them to write Haiku and somehow relate it (generally) to what we learned.  I was surprised how much they enjoyed this.  In 2nd grade, they actually do understand the idea of syllables, and they were able to write about nature (we had a lot of poems about owls and butterflies - I do think these related to our topic for the most part).  One child wrote about cactus (I thought that very creative), another about dragonflies, and their illustrations were great too.  I learned about this teacher; I think she loves Four Winds.  She had on hand activities related to food chains, ecosystems, and habitats, and all those beautiful Haiku will be up on the classroom walls tomorrow.  And the kids were very excited about reading them aloud to boot.  It was a great intro to the year, and I think we'll keep doing poetry with these kids all year based on how today went!

Welcome to high school

I guess it's a little early to be making predictions, but I'll go ahead and make a few observations, and share some thoughts, based on the first few weeks.

(1)  We have a great public high school

• The academic strengths are obvious and my daughter is challenged academically at school across the board, a first if I may say so in her public school experience.  I am thankful for this.
• The variety of choices of classes and extracurricular opportunities is mind-boggling.  I doubt we'll even crack the surface in the next four years.
• So far, the teachers are "for" my daughter.  It may not be perfect. I'm sure we'll have issues.  But they are not against her or against us and appear to want her to succeed, even by my definition.  That's a definite plus.

(2) The news about teens is generally not good

• The headlines abound regarding drugs, violence, vandalism, bullying, sex, misuse of technology and I could go on.
• The stories behind those headlines do not paint a pretty picture of home life, responsibility, parenting, accountability, values, or anything else honestly.  It's discouraging to think there are so many kids out there who both can and will get "lost" during these years and make both stupid and potentially life-changing decisions.
• Their parents (and the apparent lack of parenting) scare me.  Our culture has some real (bad) issues and I don't see it getting better.

(3) My daughter is making good choices

• So far
• I think these choices have set the tone for the year - and I both doubt it will change, and hope it won't, at the same time.  
• So much seems to depend on those decisions - and they are primarily what you choose to focus on and who you choose to listen to (and surround yourself with).  In her case, she's chosen to focus on academic and spiritual growth, and she's surrounding herself with people who will influence her for good in both those areas.  Really, I'm not sure how either of those could be going better. 

Proverbs 13:20

Become wise by walking with the wise;
    hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.

Those are my observations.  And if anyone were to ask my advice, it would be to help your child navigate those waters of making good choices - choose well what you focus on, and choose well who you listen to (which is who you spend time with and with whom you surround yourself).  Honestly, these are the lessons we all need to learn for life.  And they begin well before high school.  But I think high school generally comes with a broader pool of potential influence, an opening of new opportunities - and ideas and challenges, and both more independence and more responsibility. Our job as parents is to lead them to good water - again and again and again - and then pray fervently that God would have them drink it (again and again and again)! 

Proverbs 13:24

A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
    love your children by disciplining them.

High school's got a strong and important academic component.  But the point I think is no longer the foundational academics of the 3Rs.  Everyone needs those.  That's my philosophy for K-8.  High school presumes that foundation, as it should, and the paths for different kids with different strengths and interests begins appropriately to diverge.  Some will focus on academics, some on sports, some on arts, some on technical skills.... all ok and no longer "the same" across the board, and plenty of blend of the lot of them.  But ALL will grow in their ability to navigate life's decisions, for better or for worse, as they prepare to live independently in a few short years.  I think character growth and maturity in that area is what high school is about.  While still under their parents supervision (supposedly - again, I'm grieved by the lack of this for far too many....), they have a chance to test the waters of what they value and act from those values, try to fly - and fail - and get back on the saddle again, over and over and over.  This is that time.  Before they leave the nest, they learn to navigate life and relationships and opportunities.  This is the crucible of character, and who they are when they finish will be their launching pad and foundation for true independence and adulthood.  

My prayer for my kids is that this time will go well and by God's grace that they will build well so they don't have to destroy that foundation as adults and start over.  It's much harder, and sometimes the consequences of poor choices quite severe.  But if they make poor choices, may they learn from them and know - through my hands - that God is still sovereign and they are in his hands.  He is not finished with me, and he is not finished with them, and he can (though he does not promise to) redeem all our failures.  Most importantly he can and will redeem their souls by faith.  This parent is entrusting all her kids - and herself - to the Lord. It may not turn out well by my definition (though it is so far, for which I'm very VERY thankful...), but I can and will trust him to do what he thinks is best in my life and in theirs, even  if and when it doesn't go well.  So that's that.... welcome to the high school years.

Proverbs 16:9

The mind of man plans his way,
     But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.