Earlier this school year, I posted on our introduction to High School. All is going well, and indeed, issues have and likely will continue to arise. Learning how to navigate these issues, when and how to bring them up and to whom, which ones merit attention, which ones aren't worth losing any sleep over, etc is definitely the crux of what this year seems to be about.
To put it simply, communication is hard, and so is figuring out how to work with different people and different teaching styles. Sometimes the fit is fabulous, even surprisingly so. But when it isn't, sometimes you actually learn more, but this is often about life issues as opposed to academic material.
Patience has health challenges (diabetes and migraines in particular) and her relationship with the school health office (aka the nurse to whom she's been assigned) is a pretty important one. Suffice it to say she didn't get off on a very good foot w/said nurse, mostly just a personality difference and some less than ideal interactions at the beginning of the school year. So it would appear that one of our goals for the year is to mend this and move forward. We recently met with her guidance counselor, mostly to make her aware that Patience is literally avoiding the health office and that is important that she not do so, and we will hopefully be meeting with the four of us (guidance counselor, nurse, Patience and I) soon to begin the mending. What encourages me through this is that in real life, there are people with whom you will have to interact, and with whom doing so may be challenging. You need to learn how. Patience is learning the importance of this, and also we are not dealing with an unpleasant person (the nurse is quite nice actually). But we need to work this through; she needs to learn to speak, listen, advocate, assert, understand, and forbear. Serious people skills! And tough communication really as well. It's a fabulous learning experience, and while I wouldn't have wished it (especially with this particular situation - her need for the services provided by the nurses can be very real and urgent), it will be a wonderful opportunity to build character, communication skills, and learn about other people. And working with the guidance counselor has been a very encouraging and upbuilding experience.
Another issue is in some ways bigger (relating to privacy and the use of technology in the classroom, in one class in particular) and she has done a marvelous job advocating for herself. After discussing this with the guidance counselor (again, we really feel heard and the counselor was marvelous at helping us define and communicate the issue at hand), I now know who to speak to. Patience has been reassured that this is a legitimate concern and that she is free to stand up for herself, respectfully, but to do so firmly and without needing to cave in. We have both learned the phrase, "I'm not comfortable with that," and are learning to use it. It was very freeing to know the issue was not being overblown by us, at least not in the guidance counselor's opinion, and that it should be brought to the attention of the administration. That doesn't mean we are 'right' and others are 'wrong', but that we are free to proverbially stick to our guns and insist on accommodation when need be. Frankly, Patience has been very uncomfortable under the pressure she has felt repeatedly from a particular teacher, and it is not only our family rules reflected here, but the principles of internet safety and appropriate use of the internet (time spent etc) that she has absorbed and made her own to some degree. Through it all, we have expected her to be appropriately flexible and willing to cooperate with the teacher as much as possible. We have had to correct her for being a bit "self-righteous" at times and let things go. But we have stood behind her, supporting her, and helping her to know how to advocate for herself, stepping in on (rare) occasions to speak with the teacher directly. It's been a very unexpected issue, and we are thankful for the opportunity again, to work through real issues with our kids. All of them have been listening in on this one, as it will likely affect them all at some point. And they're learning a lot!
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