Who's who

For those of you wondering about our annual letter (which hasn't come annually in quite some time), and assuming (probably) that we have again missed a year, it's written, and we're working on printing it and sending it out. It'll probably take a while, but a few have already been mailed so it's going to be a process I guess. But since it may indeed drive a number of you to this site who haven't been in a while, let me quickly note that we use different names in our blog, and you'll need to get used to that. We explain and introduce you at a post from some time ago if you follow this link - please read it if you want more info. There's also a sidebar on the right w/that link.

Please note that if you use our real names in a comment, we will probably delete it. We might edit it and re-comment, or we might not. Nothing personal. Just letting you know.

In a nutshell, Mom is Shiloh, Dad is Papa Bear, and the kids, oldest to youngest, are Patience, Andante, Constance, and Vivace. The names fit us and it makes it easier to write with them. On our bad days, I suppose we could substitute all sorts of other names like Crabby/Grenade, Eeyore/Grumpy, Lazy/Razor Tongue, Tortoise/Forgetful, Stubborn/Pest, and Whiny/Loose Cannon (in the same order as above), but everyone has their days. So we'll stick to the more complementary character descriptions. At least we're putting a positive spin on things and seeing the up side of our character traits and personalities. God does help w/that a lot, truthfully, especially on our bad days.

World view

Some of you out there who might read our post a few weeks ago regarding homeschooling our kids might be surprised, or even horrified, that we don't mention any of the pros/cons of homeschooling as regards our Christian faith and our theocentric (dare I say Jesus-Centric?) world view.  Indeed, I suppose that faith is often a or even the reason to - or not to - homeschool.  As Christians, we process everything - what we eat, do, wear, spend money and time on, read, learn, watch on TV, listen to on the radio etc - through the lens of faith, and whether or not said item in consideration "fits"....  Certainly the public school does not share this point of view, and certainly, homeschooling allows us to teach our perspective and from that world view at every turn.  But again, we have been blessed with schools that do not antagonize us.  We do not suffer from teachers ridiculing our kids, or us, for what we believe.  Granted, much of what they learn at school is saturated with thinking and a world view with which we are not in agreement.  Some folks would say that allowing our kids to attend school abdicates our parental responsibility to "nurture our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord."  Suffice it to say that (obviously) we do not share that point of view.  Here goes my attempt to share our "philosophy" if it can be called that.

We are very actively teaching our kids about God, the Bible, Jesus, and our world view.  We are engaged with them and what they are learning.  Everything, whether learned in a book they borrow from the library, to what they are learning in Sunday school, to what their AWANA books say, to what they learn in the classroom is worthy of discussion and gives us an opportunity to engage with them and instruct them from our world view, with what the Bible says, and how it fits with God's purpose for us, according to the Bible.  Frankly, and honestly, we make no claim to succeeding - only that we try to do it.  We talk with them daily about what they do at school, what they are thinking, about their relationships, their concerns, and their lives in general.   This we do, daily.  We're probably better at this than we are at reading our Bibles.  It's a saturation thing.  We love to be together, and we discuss current events and newspaper headlines as much as we discuss Romans or Daniel or Genesis.  And we tie all of it together.  Newtown, CT?  Sin, self-control, trust, patience, law vs. grace, what is and isn't legal, God and his character, especially his sovereignty and love, mental illness, what makes us secure vs. not secure ... it all came up in some form, and then some.  Ice jams close the road? Patience, traffic patterns, and the politics of new roads (and what we value and what God thinks of that, per se).  That verse you're memorizing for Awana? (pick any one at random)  What is it saying? Tell me about the grammar (verb, subject...).  What does it say about God, you, Jesus?  Depending on the verse, do you see this (around you...), how does it relate to (what you've already learned, seen, that thing we studied last week in science or literature or whatever)?  I guess my point is we talk.  We walk.  We talk some more.  We know our kids.  Education is happening at home all the time.  And it will no matter where or how we choose to school our kids.   And their instruction in their (our) faith happens right alongside and is part of, entwined in, intertwined with, and inseparable from their education.  Why learn grammar?  Cause without it the Bible is incomprehensible.  That is a really high quality adjective.  Why learn to write?  Because if you can't write, how will you express what you think, about anything, most particularly, about what you do/don't believe, to anyone, anywhere, for any reason?  Why learn math?  Because the God of the universe made it work that way  - incredibly detailed and logical, and wow, isn't he amazing?  (He created math, that is amazingly amazing in and of itself, and blows my circuits).  Our poor kids get this day in day out about everything.  I mean everything.   From music to science to housecleaning.  So don't worry, we didn't forget about world view.  We don't actually think about it separately or compartmentalize it in any way because we live it, 24/7/365, wherever we are, whatever we do, and we know it, and so I think do our kids.   

Homeschooling Patience

Yes, homeschooling, yes, Patience, and yes, I intend the pun; it does require lots of patience!

So, finally, the post to answer the question that always comes up, why?  And I'll tell you!

Patience is our oldest, and all our kids have been public schooled from the get go.  Frankly, we like our schools.  Nothing (and we mean nothing) is perfect.  With both us parents having backgrounds in teaching, and personal experience at various levels with many schooling options, from elite private schools, to Christian schools, to public schools, to international schools, as well as home-schooling, we lack little that would inform us of our options. And we definitely have opinions and educational philosophies to complicate matters.

Theoretically, we think homeschooling is the best for academic instruction.  It allows you to tailor the education to the student, personalizing the instruction to meet both interest and need.  We have "always" thought this.  But it's not necessarily the best option because of other factors, like personalities, time, family needs, family dynamics, and a hundred other reasons.  Besides, there is plenty of valuable and even necessary education involved in learning to keep to a schedule, work with others, experience that which the majority of those in our country will experience (at least the idea of "school" and what it entails), and frankly how to toe the line and do what you're told.  Our kids have learned a lot - a LOT - of important and critical life skills, as well as academic skills, in their years at our local public schools.

Perhaps the lesson I've learned is that our public schools are a gift.  While not perfect, and while academically they may leave my kids with some holes, the teachers are FOR my kids.  They want them to learn, they want them to thrive, and they want what's best for them.  Our definition of "best" might differ, but I truly believe this about our schools and we have largely been pleased with our children's education thus far.

So why did we bring her home this year?  It was for her benefit.  Frankly, it was to give her a chance to try it out before high school and see how it went.  If it went / goes well (which it has), we'll consider continuing.  That's another post.  How would this benefit her?  In one word, time.  She doesn't have the stamina of the "average" child.  School (that is the full day public school routine) wears her out.  Some people can handle a lot of activity and input, they can balance a lot of spinning plates, and they thrive in that.  Some can't.  She's on that side of the scale.  If she wants to add on activities - like the school musical, babysitting, a dance class, etc, it risks tipping her over the edge.  Softball last year really stretched her to the fullest.  She has zero intention of doing a high school sport for that reason.  I don't think anything could change her mind.  She knows her limitations and frankly, is content to say "no" a lot.  I am thankful for her contentment, but we wanted to see if homeschooling allowed her the time and opportunity - this one year - to maybe try some new things without tipping her over the edge. 

 

 

I'm not sure exactly how that's gone because of other things that have come up, like tendonitis, but I think she's been able to consider things she never could before, and she's not dreading softball starting up soon.  She's been able to sleep when needed, work her schooling around her desired activities, and doctor appointments, and frankly manage her energy better on the whole.  Plus, peripheral benefits, which have been well worth it, are that she's filling in some of the academic holes quite solidly (writing, grammar, and math in particular), which will serve her well in her high school years.  She's also been able to earn a little money doing odd jobs, go on a few fun excursions with me (and more to come, we hope!), and generally have instruction tailored to her interests and needs to a much greater degree.  Our relationship - we enjoy time together - has definitely been a plus of the homescholing as well, though she is still a teenager and there are many moments (and mornings) which are a challenge for both of us. Working through those has been a blessing and given us a better and stronger relationship.  All those things are not the "why" of homeschooling - they're just wonderful by-products.

 

Happy 2013

I note that it has been three months since my last post.  Wow.  What can I say?  We're still here, lots of things have happened, much has been done and said and experienced.  I want to write, but have trouble finding the time.  I probably could begin writing, but probably wouldn't finish.  Today, I decided to write because I sometimes just need to, even if I have nothing particular to say.  Most of the time, when I "need" to write, or have a great idea that I could actually easily and quickly write about, I don't, usually because there's no opportunity, and then the idea or need goes away or becomes less urgent.

We are now 17 days into the New Year, and truthfully, I think we've had one "healthy" day, if that.  It probably wasn't a healthy day, we just thought it was, or it seemed to be for part of the day.  In thinking back, it actually wasn't... but that matters little.  The long and short of it is that 2013 is off to a slow start in some ways, and rocketing away in others.  The tummy bug has made its rounds - one person at a time, starting w/Vivace about 15 minutes into the New Year.  Then Constance didn't feel well for days and finally on day 4 of the year, it came to a violent and nasty head for about 9 solid hours of vomiting every half hour (during the night of course), which relocated her sister to the floor after she took out her bunk bed by missing the bowl.  She needed at least three or four days to recover afterwards.  I was hit about the same time, but being the mom, I was up caring for her, w/a bucket next to my bed and tanked up w/pepto.  My beloved let me sleep all the next day, as much as I could and I was so thankful.  I haven't felt so sick in a long time.  Then Patience got it (borderline blood sugars, low ketones and all), and then Dante.  He too needed more time to recover, like Constance.  So only Papa Bear escaped.

There were bumps in the road along the way with other things, but while everyone "took their turn," we still watched football, we still kept up with school, and Dante and I even went downhill skiing (more on that in another post, Lord willing - but it was his first time, and my first time since LBK - life before kids - we had a wonderful time).  We've also had a few Celtic Dance classes in there, routine doctors appointments, some library programs, built igloos, took piano lessons, went ice skating, and frankly had some fun.  And now Patience is down w/a fever over 100.... feeling pretty sick all day yesterday - and we're waiting to see if that spreads thru the family and if it makes her miss her first midterm (a real "high school" midterm - Algebra I - scheduled for tomorrow afternoon....).  Add to that some muscular issues for Dante (seems fine now but had him doubled over in pain suddenly a few days ago, prompting an impromptu and urgent visit to the doctor) and a toothache for me (which we're hoping won't indicate the need for a root canal but right now it's wait and see if the nerve settles down...), and that about rounds things out.

So happy new year, we're still here, we probably should get the Christmas stuff put away (the tree is still lit and lookin' lovely behind me!) but we are NOT entertaining visitors just yet. 

Diversity

I just read this staff blog entry from  Faith in Vermont from the 10/2/12 edition of the Addison Independent (a local weekly newspaper not too far from us).  It was fabulous and very well put. I'm sharing it here in its entirety.  Thanks for putting what I think into words!

Uncomfortable by Faith Gong

My last name is Gong, but I’m not Asian.

I think this probably confuses people the first time they meet me; nurses scanning the waiting room for “Mrs. Gong” tend to overlook me, and many people repeat “GONG?” upon learning my last name, as if they must have misunderstood.

That doesn’t bother me one bit, honestly, because I spent the first two decades of my life saddled with the maiden name “Cinquegrana,” courtesy of my Italian father. I can’t claim to have married my husband for his last name, but its lone syllable was a definite selling point.
My last name is Gong, of course, because I married a Chinese-American man. We were married in Manhattan, which is 48% White. We had three half-Chinese children, all born in Oakland, California, which is 35% White. Then we moved to Middlebury, Vermont, which is 86% White – and that figure, from the 2010 census, includes the Middlebury College student body. According to the same census, the state of Vermont is 96% White. That makes Vermont the whitest state in the nation.

I’m not usually aware that our little family is adding racial diversity to the whitest state (although I will occasionally realize that my husband is the only Asian in a room, or that my daughters are in a small minority of brunettes at their preschool). That’s due in part to the fact that I’m the whitest member of our family, so I’m arguably the most comfortable in this setting. It’s probably also because we live in Middlebury, where the aforementioned college attracts a great diversity of students and faculty -- enough to make it 10% more diverse than the rest of the state.
But I think it’s more than that; I think the fact that our multi-racial family is so comfortable here says something special about Vermont. It’s funny, but those awkward moments when nurses look over my head as they call “Mrs. Gong?” and people squint at me quizzically when I say my last name – those moments all happened in Manhattan and the Bay Area. Here, our family has been warmly welcomed by fellow Vermont transplants and fourth generation Vermonters alike. I can only describe the experience of my family, of course, but never once has anybody in Vermont commented on our name or our race.

How is that possible, in such a remarkably UN-diverse place?  It could be that there are so few Chinese people in Vermont, nobody expects “Gong” to be attached to an Asian – it’s just not in their frame of reference.

But I give Vermonters more credit than that. My own theory is that Vermonters pass so little racial judgment because most Vermonters live in small towns. Living in a small town, you learn a lot about diversity. Not racial diversity, per se, but PEOPLE diversity. Simply put: Everybody is a little weird. Your neighbors may be Chinese, or they may have ten rusted-out pickup trucks in their yard, or they may cover their walls with antlers, or they may breed llamas. (Actually, after 18 months in Vermont, I no longer find any of those things weird). My point is, everybody’s got something. And it’s a lot harder to hide your something in a small town, where you see the same people every day.

This is where I believe the legendary Vermont reticence – some would call it “chilliness” – comes in. I’ve found most Vermonters to be quite friendly, but they do set boundaries. I wouldn’t label this “chilliness” so much as “respect.” If you plan to live for decades within the same small community, you’d best learn to respect people, to allow space for their weirdness.
Last month, my husband and I had the enormous pleasure of attending Mike Sommers’s one-man show, Vermont Boy in West Oakland, at the Town Hall Theater. Sommers, who grew up in Middlebury, performed a hilarious and moving monologue about his experience moving from Vermont to a primarily black neighborhood in West Oakland, California – not far from where we used to live.

At one point, Sommers’s Oakland neighbor asked him if he was uncomfortable being the only “white boy” on the block. Sommers replied something along the lines of: “I’m a Vermont boy; I’m uncomfortable around everybody. I look at white people, and all I see are city folk.”
In other words, to live in Vermont is to be weird, plain and simple. Vermonters live in the least diverse, most rural state in the union. Perhaps it’s this deep-seated knowledge of their own weirdness that makes Vermonters so tolerant of difference, diversity….weirdness, in others. Everybody’s got something.

Faith Gong has worked as an elementary school teacher, a freelance photographer, and a nonprofit manager. Since moving to Addison County in 2011, her work has involved caring for a house in the woods, three young daughters, one soon-to-be-puppy (coming next week!) — and writing for her blog, The Pickle Patch.

Always something....

Today marks several "somethings" more or less converging.  A year ago, my host mother Lucette passed away.  I have intended many things since then, including writing what I've nicknamed "Ode to Lucette" to share how this simple woman impacted my life... but I haven't done it yet.  We won't even mention the rest of the things I haven't gotten around to, but given this "anniversary", it bears mentioning.  I love her, remember her, and wish I could find (make?!) time to share in a more deliberate way about her. 

The other "somethings" relate to family adjustments - whether it be homeschooling (a desired and permanent at least for this year for our eldest, Patience), or potential milk allergy or lactose intolerance (Constance - the persistent tummy aches are definitively milk related, so now we begin the process of figuring out what that looks like in the specifics vs. the "generalities" of milk vs. the rest of her food), or tendonitis (officially diagnosed this afternoon - Patience - and it will result in much accommodation over the next few weeks around schooling and housework), or increased homework (both boys figuring this one out, increasingly...)

I think I'm feeling as busy as I ever have, and the adjustments are rather significant.  I'm tired.  But I'm happy too.  And I'm enjoying the fall and my kids and my family.  Those are good things.  Thankful to know how to proceed with the girls and their issues, thankful that schooling is going well overall, for everyone, thankful that the boys are growing well and "manning up" to their new levels of expectations.  The relationships are good.  Papa Bear and I have been communicating particularly well in and through my weaknesses I think in all this.  Very good really.  But it's hard to find time to share it.  Hope this brings those of you who read this "up to speed" at least a little.  And hopefully some day soon I will be able to find time to elaborate on much of it, but that's our September (and especially this week) in a nutshell. 

Football 101

Football is new to us this year. Dante decided to try it out as he enters 6th grade. The divisions are simple - Grades 2, 3, and 4 play flag football. Grades 5-8 play tackle and are divided into two groups, each of which are divided into a JV and a V so to speak.


Dante has been initiated quickly with two solid weeks of nightly practice (two hours plus each night). He's playing safety on the defense.  I suppose we'll learn what that means as time goes on and we watch him play.  It looks for the moment like he's playing "V" (mostly w/other 6th graders) which is great since he's with his friends.  One of the "fun" things about all this is with baseball, Essex Junction (the village of) and Essex (the town of) are separate and bitter rivals.  But for football, we play together - meaning we play alongside some of our baseball nemeses.  Incidentally, his head coach is the girls' softball coach for Patience's fiercest school rival.... We live in a small world.


The learning curve for our family has been steep with equipment confusion and lessons (and after several tries practice pants that actually fit).  We still haven't figured out the glasses so he's playing kind of blind.... we do need to figure that one out soon.


Yesterday he had his first official "suit up" in his uniform (he's number 55) for the local Jamboree. There were scrimmages between multiple towns. He was out the door at 7am and home at 3:30. We carpooled with another family we know, which helped tremendously (they were there in the morning, our family was there in the afternoon).


It was hot and a long day, but he's loving it. It's fish to water kind of love so far. And yes, he's sustained an injury (minor, but his hand was pretty swollen) on the first day of tackle practice. He was beaming from ear to ear telling us about it.


Go Dante! Let's play some football!